Best Tweets: What Women Said On Twitter This Week

This week Tweeters were filled with excitement and anticipation for the upcoming holiday. Twitter user, @mynameshank, was very busy preparing for Christmas when she tweeted: "Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations." We're sure her neighbors really appreciated all of her hard work.

While some were busy decorating (or un-decorating), others were brainstorming Christmas-morning strategy. Jocelyn Plums tweeted one of our favorites: "I used to push my sister down the stairs on Christmas morning so our parents would wake up and let us open presents."

For more great tweets from women, click through the gallery below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.

on the 6th day god was like "AND IM INVENTING STATIC ELECTRICITY SHOCK SO YOU ALL LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF FEAR" and it worked.

— shannonwoodward (@shannonwoodward) December 16, 2013

The meanest thing you could say to me is "I hope your phone battery dies."

— Rivka Rossi (@sofifii) December 17, 2013

Sorry I called your toddler a witch when I saw her sneakers light up.

— Randi Lawson (@RandiLawson) December 16, 2013

Yes a circle of dying pine needles would look magnificent hanging on this door. Very festive. Let's fill our socks with toys.

— Katie Katie Katie (@kchees) December 16, 2013

I just ate my body weight in soft pretzels. Send help. No. No don't do that. Send beer and more soft pretzels. Yesss. And cheese.

— Angela Wheezy (@CarpeAngela) December 17, 2013

Meant to ask a girl at the gym with a great butt what exercises she does, instead I asked "what butt stuff do you do?". The answer was a lot

— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) December 18, 2013

Sorry but Beyonce could eat Drake as an appetizer.

— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) December 18, 2013

I used to push my sister down the stairs on Christmas morning so our parents would wake up and let us open presents.

— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) December 16, 2013

You know you're a NY'er when the presence of too much wildlife concerns you: "Why are there so many birds at my window? What do they want?"

— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) December 19, 2013

Anyways, a piece of donut just fell out of my jeans and I haven't eaten a donut in weeks.

— shelby fero (@shelbyfero) December 19, 2013

"This is a good place to meet people! I just went to the bar and got a few smiles. Cute guys, too." -Mom has discovered the airline lounge.

— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) December 19, 2013

Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations.

— not Jenn (@mynameshank) November 13, 2013

I purposely stick lettuce in my teeth just so people think that I eat healthy.

— Madeline (@gigglegirlnoel) October 25, 2013

My laptop has been on my ovaries for so long my future babies are going to get great wifi reception.

— Jessica Cabot (@jessicacabot) December 19, 2013

The way Beyonce sings about sex in "Drunk In Love" makes me feel like an 11-year-old boy who's only ever been with a couch.

— Emmy Blotnick (@emmyblotnick) December 19, 2013

It would be weird to walk around shouting, "I'M AN ASSHOLE!" so it's nice that people can just drive Hummers to convey that message.

— caprice crane (@capricecrane) December 19, 2013

You know life is right on track when you get a Google Ad for "Macaroni the Clown"

— Kassia (@kassiamiller) December 18, 2013